Origination 2011

And so the Wheel turns round and round…

… and brings us to Origination again.

Yule will be in 9 days. So many changes over the last year, and a lengthy list of current and future changes, leave me uncertain as to where this year is going. I am – once again – in uncharted territory without a compass. *amused* I’m getting so used to change and moving around that some stability would probably come as an unwelcome shock!

The holiday insanity that has apparently become traditional is all around me, and I’m thankful to find myself fairly well insulated from it. I don’t celebrate the season with presents. Perhaps even more importantly, I don’t have children to buy for! And since my family is all on the other side of the country, the whole family-get-together thing isn’t in the cards either. I do honor the Solstice, but even when I celebrate with others it is a very quiet and more introspective affair.

As we come upon Solstice we also approach the anniversary of my mother’s death. I waffle between a vague contempt and a matter-of-fact acceptance when it comes to my feelings for her, but every Solstice I light a candle anyway and wish her spirit well. I find real comfort in the concept of reincarnation – there’s always hope that the deceased can do it right next time. The idea that she might go to a Christian Heaven or Hell for a game-over just upsets me, but a do-over seems about right, considering.

My Lady has told me many things She wants from me in the coming year. This blog is one of them. I’m comfortable talking to complete strangers about pretty much everything else but this, and now is apparently the time to get over that last hesitation. I’m a bit nervous, but I’m game to try. I just hope that it is as helpful to readers as it should be for me!

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3 thoughts on “Origination 2011

  1. shaohua says:

    You said: “‎”I find real comfort in the concept of reincarnation – there’s always hope that the deceased can do it right next time. The idea that [they] might go to a Christian Heaven or Hell for a game-over just upsets me, but a do-over seems about right, considering.”

    this really hit home for me.

    With Evan’s passing in 2010 (and his continuing “visits” throughout this past year) and knowing he is staying in the Elysian Fields and that he will indeed reincarnate eventually and get his “do-over”. The last year of his life just seemed to consistently kick his ass, no matter how hard he tried..and then he wrecked…and a month later was gone from this plane of existence.

    Knowing that he not going to be stuck in a stasis for the rest of forever his a good thing, and hopefully his next trip around the pike will be a much more fulfilling and longer go round than his previous one.

    When he was younger and made a mistake, he would ask for a “do-over” from his mom and would (generally) get one…and in his adult life, he seemed to be granted many “do-overs” from life (or death)..until i guess he finally ran out of “do-overs”…or he got the biggest “do-over” of all..and now he’s in a transitional stage until he is ready to reincarnate.

  2. Lady Caer says:

    I’ve always visualized the time between lives as something akin to seeing your academic adviser between semesters. *laugh* Sounds a bit odd, but it totally works for me. In a meeting with your adviser/spirit guide/deity/whoever, you look back over the last “semester” – the last life – and see what worked and what didn’t. What did you truly learn? What part did you screw up? Where do you want to go from here? Then together you schedule the next semester. (I like to think you get a vacation in before classes start again too!)

    Some of the classes you take are required lessons you just have to get through, like general distribution requirements. Others are your passion, and some you take out of sheer curiosity. Some you ace, and some you struggle to pass. And just like in a college semester, I’m sure surprises pop up and not everything goes according to the syllabus. That’s ok, though – sometimes the most fun and/or most useful things you learn are total surprises.

    I’d like to think your Evan and my mother are both talking to their advisers now, planning their next steps and relaxing a bit between semesters.

  3. shaohua says:

    Well as much as i miss having Evan physically here…as i said above,he pops in for “visits” so often…it’s kind of hard to miss someone when they don’t leave you alone! But i certainly don’t mind.

    i know Evan is fully “living it up” in the Elysian Fields, and even when he visits here…so he’s off having adventures…and playing PS3 games with his paw-paw and friend Donny. (Ponny passed in a car crash in 2008, his paw-paw in 2009)

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