Candles for an Uncertain Spring

I am an American.

I am also Polytheist and queer. My queer roommate is here in the US on asylum. My sister, who also lives with me, has a Hispanic last name. Of the two children in our house, one of them is disabled. Two of the above-listed people are trans.

We are 11 days into the Trump presidency, and while I am American I am also scared.

The dawn of this year’s Imbolc illuminates what is for many of us an uncertain spring. It’s challenging, I think, to appreciate the growing light when so much appears so, so dark.


Sorry, I couldn’t find a picture as apocalyptic as my Facebook feed.

Maybe it’s just me, but Imbolc feels more poignant than it usually does. I find that I desperately need candles, and torches, and even bonfires to beat back the dark. I need purification and renewal, illumination and inspiration.

So I will take my inspiration from the following and let it define my Imbolc ritual:

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” ~Frank Herbert, Dune

Soon I will take a long cleansing shower, washing away the tension I’ve held since November. I will then go to my altar, and light candles, and invite the Powers to attend.

After that, I will stop compartmentalizing and burying my sorrow and fear. I will instead sit with them, and honor them, and then let them pass away. I will acknowledge that I could have maybe done more, and done better, but I will also recognize that the time for regrets is done now. It’s time to look ahead. Despair and hopelessness are luxuries that we can ill afford. I will do my best to leave them behind in this passing winter as I step into the coming spring refreshed and renewed.

And when I light a candle to honor a new dawn, I will do it with purpose. I will take the energies of this Imbolc and become a candle. I will commit to holding my small, fragile flame against the coming darkness. I will pay attention, and speak out, and help my neighbor as best I can, because only by combining all of our candles together will our light be bright enough to show a better path.

I will do these things. I Will these things. I WILL.

So mote it be.

2 thoughts on “Candles for an Uncertain Spring

  1. hocuspocus13 says:

    What are you afraid of?

    Don’t let the media use you as one of their paws to do their dirty work

    Trump is about jobs and the economy

    And keeping America safe from terrorist

    Who by the way do not like women or gay’s

    It was announced today by the White House that the LGBTQ laws will stay in tact and not be touched

    So 😊 life is beautiful

    • Caer Jones says:

      I started spelling everything out, but it got to be too long. So I’ll summarize.

      Everything I’m seeing – and have been seeing for the last few years – points to Dominionists working hard to get into positions of governmental power. With Trump’s – and especially Pence’s – election they are now closer than they have ever been before.

      The goal of Dominionism has always been a government run in accordance with their interpretation of Biblical law. I don’t fit into that. Neither does my family. That’s a scary thing.

      I mean, we’ve had world-wide protests over a slew of legislation and cabinet picks and Trump’s only been in office for 11 days. We’ve got FOUR YEARS of this to look forward to. A lot can happen in that amount of time. Everything could go swimmingly well after a rough start, and since we’re all here we all hope they do. They might not, though, and we have to prepare as best we can for that.

      I understand that you feel that “life is beautiful”, and I’m glad you don’t feel the burden that my family does. Truly I do. It’s not comfortable. But please, pay attention to the voices you’re hearing that may challenge your comfort level, and do your part to ensure that the government keeps working as well as you think it is.

      Those of us who disagree with your assessment would like to be comfortable too.

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