Uh Oh

Hello, all! Well, I have some news. I seem to have slightly pissed off the AFA. Darn! *snaps fingers*

I honestly didn’t do a whole lot, and I don’t expect it to amount to much at all. But I would be remiss if I didn’t do what I can to protect myself and my people from possible fallout, especially considering what’s been going on lately.

My personal Facebook page will be locked to Friend’s Only and my business page will be unpublished until such time as this whole thing dies down. I have no desire to be flooded with Nazi memes or doxxed.

This blog will continue as usual, however, as will my Instagram. Twitter I’m not yet sure about, so we’ll see on that one.

I can always be reached by email, too, of course.

Hopefully I’m way overpreparing and this will all be of minimal concern. I’ll keep y’all posted – and I’m working on my next blog post now.

Stay tuned, and blessings to you all!

The Acolytes of Beltane: Re-examining the Sabbat Through the Tarot

The Lovers. Centennial Waite-Smith Tarot.

Beltane is the last of the three Planting festivals. In the old days these festivals revolved around the agrarian year, and for some they still do. However, my urban self relates to all the festivals in a slightly different way. For me these are more personal festivals, encouraging and celebrating more personal types of growth.

Beltane is usually the hardest of all the sabbats for me to find personally relevant. I’ve written about it before, and every year it’s still a bit of a struggle.

However, this year I took a new approach and examined Beltane through the lens of Tarot. It works for almost everything else, right? The most obvious Tarot card to start with for Beltane is the Lovers, but as you’ll see my examination rapidly expanded out from there.

 The Lovers

Beltane is almost always associated with love and marriage. The union of the Lord and Lady (as seen through any number of sacred marriage stories) is perhaps the single most common symbol of the holiday. The aptly named Lovers card perfectly encapsulates that whole concept.

However, no card of the Tarot exists in a vacuum. The Lovers is linked, by both image and theme, to other cards too. In fact, it’s one of six Acolyte Cards.

So I had to wonder. If one of the Acolyte Cards relates so well to Beltane, could the other Acolyte Cards somehow relate too?

The Acolyte Cards

In addition to the Lovers, the Acolyte Cards also include the Devil, the Hierophant, the Chariot, the Six of Pentacles, and the Tower.

The Acolyte Cards are called that because, in all six cards, we have two “acolytes” at the feet of a larger figure or archetype. The visual composition of each card is almost identical, and their meanings are similar too. In all six cards the two figures in the foreground are submitting to whatever the figure behind them represents. The only difference lies in what precisely that happens to be.

The Lovers. Centennial Waite-Smith Tarot.

The Lovers. Centennial Waite-Smith Tarot.

In the Lovers, the figures commit themselves to each other under the eyes of an angel, making this a sacred marriage. By so doing they collectively place their relationship above their individual desires, submitting to its influence in their lives. While it depicts a sacred marriage, this card can refer to any great love to which we commit ourselves.

The Devil. Centennial Waite-Smith Tarot.

The Devil. Centennial Waite-Smith Tarot.

The Devil is often called the shadow card of the Lovers, and it’s easy to see why. The figures in this card don’t submit to each other, but to the worst parts of themselves. The chains represent the attachment of the figures to fears, addictions, self-serving behaviors, and hedonism. They’re wholly committed to that which holds them prisoner, but they retain the ability to free themselves from bondage any time they choose. The Devil is ultimately a helpful card, because it points out that which holds us back and encourages us to pursue self-improvement, independence, and true freedom.

The Hierophant. Centennial Waite-Smith Tarot.

The Hierophant. Centennial Waite-Smith Tarot.

The monks of the Hierophant submit to the leader of their faith, and by so doing commit themselves to a higher purpose. I also think it’s significant that, out of all six cards, the monks of the Hierophant are the only figures with their backs to us. Part of their devotion is a rejection of the world, while the other five cards are of the world and face it more directly.

The Chariot. Centennial Waite-Smith Tarot.

The Chariot. Centennial Waite-Smith Tarot.

The sphinxes of the Chariot submit to their princely driver, who is completely focused on worldly conquest. Since the world can never truly be conquered by one person, the drive to succeed is never-ending. Total success isn’t really the point, though. The sphinxes are committed to the journey itself and carry the driver onwards regardless.

The Six of Pentacles. Centennial Waite-Smith Tarot.

The Six of Pentacles. Centennial Waite-Smith Tarot.

As befitting the only Minor Arcana of the set, the Six of Pentacles shows a more scaled-down version of the dynamic seen in the other cards. Here the two acolyte figures submit to their need for aid from a wealthy benefactor, who is committed to helping them. Unlike the other cards, though, the benefactor isn’t a larger-than-life archetypal figure. He’s human too, and a quick reversal of fortune could cause the acolytes and the benefactor to switch places. This unites the acolytes and the benefactor in a way not permitted by the other cards.

The Tower. Centennial Waite-Smith Tarot.

The Tower. Centennial Waite-Smith Tarot.

The Tower is also considered an Acolyte Card, but it differs from the others in two fundamental ways. For one, the archetypal figure in this card – the Blasted Tower – represents the destruction of commitment. The figures in this card were dedicated solely to their own egos, and that is the sin that could not be borne. That’s why the lightning physically removed them from their high station and returned them screaming to the earth below. None of us are immune to natural law or natural forces, and the figures of this card were required to submit to that if nothing else. And that leads to the second fundamental difference between this card and the others: the lightning didn’t ask for or require the consent of the figures in the card.

If the other cards are facets of life we’re invited to explore, the Tower tells us that the worst thing we can do is ever think we’re done exploring.

The Acolytes of Beltane

As a culture, we’re kind of obsessed with the values represented by the Lovers card. It makes total sense that the type of submission and commitment explored there is the one that gets its own holiday, especially when we consider the history and focus of modern Paganism.

However, maybe this singular focus is unnecessarily limiting. The Acolyte Cards invite us to explore love, self-improvement, faith, drive, and a recognition that we’re all in this together. They also caution us against the idea that we’re ever done growing and provide an ego-check when we need it.

All of the Acolyte Cards, even or maybe especially the Tower, provide us the tools we need to grow into our best and most authentic selves. That sounds like the very definition of what Beltane is supposed to be, and to my mind makes this holiday much more interesting and personally relevant.

Now I’m eager to see what kind of light a similar study might shed on Midsummer!

The Diary Tarot Spread

When I first started reading cards, the first question I asked querents was “how much info do you want – a Telegram, a Letter, or a Diary?”. It was the easiest way I knew to convey the length and depth of different spreads to people with zero knowledge of Tarot.

The “Telegram” spread was a standard three card draw. The “Letter” was my version of the Celtic Cross, which I discuss in detail here. This post covers the Diary Spread.

The Diary Spread is in depth and sprawling. It consists of neat rows and columns, making it easier to lay out than the Spirals of Life Spread. Like that spread, though, this one relies on intuition and basic positioning more than specific questions for interpretation.

I can’t claim total credit for this one. My aunt taught it to me, and I have no idea if she got it from a book or learned it in some other fashion. I’ve tweaked it since then, of course, but the core of it hasn’t changed.

The Diary Spread

This spread consists of six rows of five cards each. Each row is based on one broad topic, but individual cards are intuitively interpreted. Placement may matter and may not, depending on how the reader feels about it at the time. It’s a remarkably flexible spread.

Here’s what it looks like all laid out.

The Diary Spread completely laid out with the Bonefire Tarot.

The complete Diary Spread using the Bonefire Tarot (because of course it is). Overlapping the cards isn’t required, but it does help make it more manageable space-wise. Mini Tarot decks help keep it smaller too. I recommend laying out and interpreting one row at a time to keep it simpler, starting at the top and working down, because all of the flipping gets tiresome otherwise.

Row 1 – Prelude: This row shows us what events led up to the current moment. It can refer to events that happened yesterday and/or events that happened decades ago, and they always relate to present concerns. LOTS of long-standing patterns and foundational beliefs show up here, so don’t be shy about referring back to this row as you interpret cards further down. Sometimes these are all separate events, sometimes they’re all facets of one event with the center carrying the emphasis, and sometimes the whole row is a timeline. Depends completely on the reading and what your intuition says.

Row 2 – Present: This row is all about the (surprise!) present. It might dip into the last week or so, if it’s pertinent, but it generally doesn’t. Again, like the previous row, the cards here can be read a number of ways depending on how your intuition guides you. However, now that we’ve got more than one row we can add in column relationships too.

The kinds of relationships I look for in this spread, as well as a handy way to refer to specific cards.

Yet another Paint masterpiece. This one shows the kinds of relationships I look for in this spread, as well as a handy way to refer to specific cards.

Does A1 relate to A2? Or D1 to D2? These relationships might add clarification to otherwise confusing issues. I usually stick to only vertical and horizontal positioning relationships – this isn’t a Lenormand-style Grand Tableau – but if diagonals or squares call out to your intuition go for it.

Row 3 – Others: Now it’s starting to get interesting. This row shows us little glimpses of the people around the querent, who might be affecting their Present and Immediate Future (foreshadowing!). I often find that the center card (C3) is the person closest to the querent, with the flanking cards (B3 and D3) being close friends and the cards at either end (A3 and E3) being acquaintances (coworkers and the like). It could jut as easily be people ranked by closeness to the situations mentioned, however, meaning a coworker at the center of a promotion dispute could take center stage. Again go with your gut on this. Column relationships are big here, too – is the Other of A3 related to the situation described in A2 or even A1? This is an especially good time to look for patterns.

Row 4 – Immediate Future: The thing I always say about this row is that the events described are already in motion. There’s not much time (if any) to head these events off, so the best idea here is to prepare as best as possible for their coming. Column relationships are big here, too – B2 might lead directly into B4. As always let your intuition guide you through it.

Row 5 – Potentials: If everything predicted in Row 4 happens as described, these are some of the likely results. This timeframe is more elastic, so if there’s something here the querent doesn’t like they can change it. They just have to move fast! This is a great time to discuss plans of action and figure out ways to encourage what’s desired and discourage what’s not. Don’t forget to check the column relationships here too!

Row 6 – Outcomes: If all the Potentials are allowed to develop as described in Row 5, this row shows us where those might lead. This can absolutely be changed – it’s far enough out that events can be drastically shifted, if not avoided completely, if that’s what’s the querent decides to do. This is the most empowering row of the whole spread. Again, column relationships are key! Look back over the whole of the reading for any patterns that may have appeared during the spread.

A Note on Distributions: Check for the distribution of similar cards. A cluster of Majors should focus attention/emphasis there, for instance. Progressions – a 7, 8, and 9 in the same suit and column, for instance – should be noted too. As always, let your intuition guide you through what this might mean and how to work it. 

A Note on Art: Is a figure in one card looking at another figure in a different card, or distinctly looking away? Is a hand in one card reaching for someone or something in another card? Look for these kinds of things in your spread, as they can intuitively guide you to relationships beyond the row/column setups we’ve already discussed.

A Note on Clarifications: I will occasionally do clarifications on the final card of Row 6 if needed. I was taught that clarifications can be up to but no more than three cards, and to stop clarification attempts immediately if a Major appears. If further clarification on anything else is needed, either reshuffle this deck (make sure you took good notes first!) or pull out another deck entirely for a whole new reading. By the end of the Diary Spread we need more cards to clarify than we have left!

And that’s it! The Diary Spread is fantastic for those who don’t know what they want to read on because it can cover everything. I often find that things come up requiring further exploration, too. I allow at least an hour for this spread to account for that, so it’s something to keep in mind when scheduling.

 

The Spirals of Life Spread

In my Seeing the Wheels post I talked about using armillary spheres as a visual aid for the different Wheels in our lives. I also mentioned my epiphany of how the Wheels are actually all part of one giant spiral.

This Tarot spread uses that concept to help us zero in on different parts of the spiral to which we need to pay attention. It’s a bit different than the usual spread in that it relies more heavily on a reader’s intuition than on specific placement-based questions. The cards are read in relation to each other, both in groups and as a whole, allowing us to deeply explore what rises to the surface.

The Spirals of Life Spread

Here’s the spread layout and the order in which cards are put down. You’ll need some space for this one! And don’t worry – it’s way simpler than it looks.

The Spirals of Life Spread.

The Spirals of Life Spread. One of these days I will actually learn some sort of graphics program. Since that day is not today, enjoy this retro Paint masterpiece. Retro’s cool, right? Right.

It looks complicated until you see the colors. There are only 5 of them! This spread only asks and answers 5 general questions, making it super easy to remember. Specifics beyond those general questions depend on placement and intuition.

Lay cards down in the order shown above and they literally spiral clockwise around the center (hence the creative name). Reverse the order and you might have a rather nifty shadow spread, too (although I’ve not experimented with that yet). Nifty, huh?

So let’s dive in!

Red (Cards 1 and 2): This the Wheel of Self and shows us what’s going on for the querent right now. Card 1 shows the primary focus/motivator while Card 2 shows the primary challenge/block. If this looks familiar give yourself a gold star – it’s exactly the same as the Celtic Cross spread.

Green (Cards 3-6): The Wheel of Earth shows what’s happening in the realm of physical health and concrete resources. Lay these cards out and look at their positions. Does anything jump out at you? How do these cards interact with each other, or the Wheel of Self? Placement might matter here, depending on what your intuition says. Maybe the above card indicates the aspect of this Wheel that’s getting most of their attention, or their goal in this area. What’s below could be the foundation of what’s going on or even a subconscious motivator. What’s to the left – the “sinister” side – could relate to a problem area while the right indicates an area of growth. Or the two together could show what comes most readily to hand, or the best tools to use going forward. Or maybe all four cards simply show what’s surrounding the querent right now and placement doesn’t matter at all. Let your intuition guide your interpretation. Are any patterns emerging yet?

Blue (Cards 7-10): The Wheel of Water shows the influences surrounding the querent. These can be people or situations, but either way they tend to elicit emotional responses. What’s the environment looking like right now? Do these cards relate to each other? How do they interact with the other Wheels? Placement matters here, too, because cards are more likely to be connected if they’re in close physical proximity to each other. Again, let your intuition guide you through these cards and their relationships to the rest of the spread. Are any patterns emerging yet?

Yellow (Cards 11-14): The Wheel of Air shows the querent’s ways of thinking and modes of thought. Goals and aspirations show up here, as do past traumas and present concerns. What mental patterns are helping or hindering their progress? What don’t they know that they need to figure out, and what do they hold to be true that might need to be reconsidered? Intuitively work the cards and see what comes up. Are any patterns emerging yet?

Black (Cards 15-18): The Wheel of Mystery shows things surrounding the querent that are beyond their direct/immediate control but influence them all the same. Karmic patterns can pop up here, for instance, as can spiritual tasks and life purpose issues. Again, let your intuition guide your interpretation. This is where looking for patterns becomes key to the whole thing. As you worked outward to get to this Wheel, work your way inward again to see what might relate and reflect. See what you can see. (For a fun variation, especially considering the nature of this Wheel, maybe try using oracle cards instead of Tarot here. Some might find that easier to work with.)

A full Spirals of Life Spread done with the Bonefire Tarot.

This is a full Spirals of Life Spread done with the Bonefire Tarot. The key to keeping this spread workable is offsetting each Wheel from the others. It also took up the whole of my 30″x30″ divination table, so keep that in mind when laying it out! 🙂

And there you have it! The deep diving, exploratory, and revealing Spiral of Life Spread! I’d love to see your commentary about it once you’ve tried it out!

Numerology notes: There are 18 cards in this spread as designed. Numerologically that reduces to 9. Leaving off the outer ring – which might be preferable for those who aren’t here for mystery – yields 14 cards, which reduces to 5. Adding a clarification card to all cards except 1 and 2 (since they clarify themselves) yields 34, which reduces to 7. Leaving off the outer ring and using clarification cards uses 26 cards, which reduces to 8. Keep that in mind when plotting out exactly how you want to use this spread! 🙂 Aren’t numbers fun?

The Bonefire Tarot – Tarot Review

The open box with cards in the interior well is displayed with the book and a few spread cards.

The first time I saw the Bonefire Tarot I was attracted by the rich colors but kinda turned off by the seemingly chaotic art. Vintage tattoos have never been my thing. In the end I only picked the deck up because I thought it would photograph well for my Instagram #cardaday pulls.

Then I got into it. Overnight this deck shot from photogenic oddity to one of my Top Three decks ever. I’m seriously considering buying a backup copy just in case tragedy strikes and this one goes out of print!

The Bonefire Tarot is definitely worth a deeper look.

The Deck

I missed the Bonefire Tarot when it was privately published but snagged Schiffer’s mass market package. I can’t say I mind. Like all of Schiffer’s decks this one comes in sturdy box with a magnetic closure. The deck is split across one wide interior well – with cutouts for your fingers! – and the book sits on top.

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The Bonefire Tarot set. Note the pretty ribbons that keep the top open, and the ribbon loop to open it when it’s closed.

The box itself is fine for home use, and would probably even work for gentle travel, but it’s a bit unwieldy to shove into a backpack on the regular. I had a pouch custom-made for mine instead and happily toss it in my purse when needed.

The deck in the custom pouch I had made for it, with the flame pattern on the inner layer exposed.

The pouch I had made, complete with flame-patterned inner fabric and a bright blue ribbon to tie it closed. I adore it. This is one of those decks that cries out for edging, too – black, navy, and red would all look amazing with this deck.

The cards themselves are proportioned differently than regular Tarot cards, more square than rectangular. I personally like it. It opens up space for the art without making the cards too big to handle. Shuffling them is an adjustment, especially with the somewhat stiff cardstock, but I adapted fairly quickly. They feel like they’re going to stand up to a lot of use, which makes me happy.

A row of three cards, showing the size/shape differences between the Centennial Waite-Smith, the Bonefire Tarot, and the Gilded Tarot.

A quick size/shape comparison. The Centennial Waite-Smith is on the left, the Bonefire is in the center, and the Gilded Tarot is on the right. Also interesting to note here is that the Bonefire follows the TdM practice of not specifically naming the Death card.

The art is multi-layered and intense, with a plethora of symbols to engage intuitive readers. There’s lots of color saturation here, too, and the art seems to almost melt into the thin dark navy border. (The dark navy looks black in most lighting – I only noticed the navy when the light was super-bright – so keep that in mind if it matters to you.) I know some folks have issues with borders, but in this case it feels more like an extension of the background than anything else. It’s really well done.

Judgement, the Wheel of Fortune, Temperance, The Tower, and The Chariot from the Bonefire Tarot.

My favorite Major Arcana cards. It was a tough choice, too! In Judgement we see the events of our pasts playing across the skin like a movie, letting us reflect on them and analyze what we see. The Wheel of Fortune, though blinded, is also at the helm – and if that doesn’t encapsulate the idea of this card I don’t know what does! In Temperance we see blood-like ego spilling into a glass of ice cubes, cooling it off and transforming it in the process. I love this Tower card – all the different symbols falling from the Tower’s explosion can help guide the reader to the parts most applicable to its fall. And the Chariot’s determination is reflected in the bulldogs that pull it! How awesome is that?

The mostly reversible image on the back is in that dark navy and white. I say “mostly reversible” because there are differences between upright and reversed if you care to look for them. The biggest ones are the suit symbols in the corners and in the middle around the bones. I find the differing details so small, though, that the backs wind up being effectively reversible regardless.

The back of the Bonefire Tarot, with one being upright and the other reversed.

The back of the Bonefire Tarot, one card upright and one reversed, to show the differences.

One fun thing about the cards is that they’re labeled twice – once at the bottom of each card and once in the actual art. I have no idea why it was done this way, but I’ve found it to be an interesting way for me to switch between analytical and intuitive reading. Every card also has the bonefire symbol somewhere in the art, making it a fun hide-and-seek type activity.

The Fool, surrounded by the Aces.

The Fool, surrounded by the Aces. The Bonefire in the Fool has three bones instead of the more usual two, representing Idea, Plan, and Action.

The book is beautifully done, too. Each Major gets a two-page write-up, with the Minors and Court getting one. In addition, we get a welcome/intro to Tarot from the author, two fairly basic spreads and one that’s become a personal favorite as a Celtic Cross alternative, a two-page section on using Tarot for personal growth, and a glossary of symbols used throughout the Bonefire Tarot.

Top Row: Nine of Swords, Nine of Cups, Seven of Cups. Bottom Row: Three of Wands, Eight of Coins, Four of Swords.

Some of my favorite Minor Arcana cards. The Nine of Swords has her fingers around her eyes like a character in a well-known movie (bonus points if you know!) and her bedposts look like chess pieces. The Nine of Cups has the RWS Nine of Cups IN THE ART, which is just cool. The Seven of Cups shows the airy nature of this Cups card better than most any I’ve seen. The Three of Wands shows the planning and the journey, and also some of the pitfalls we might find along the way. The Eight of Coins shows a modern take on the work required to succeed, and the Four of Swords offers an image of rest and recuperation we can all relate to.

The author – who is also Bonefire’s artist – managed to give this book a friendly conversational tone. It’s incredibly approachable, and peppered with the artist’s insight and personal stories as well as the standard card meanings and symbolism. It’s also in full color, so it’s possible to curl up in bed to read it while leaving the actual cards safe in their box. I always find that to be a plus!

Using the Deck

When I first got the Bonefire Tarot I couldn’t make heads or tails of it. While the meanings are fairly close to standard RWS associations the symbolism certainly isn’t. Still, though, there was something arresting about the cards. Every time I glanced at them it felt like they were trying to tell me really important things, if only I could understand them. So I did what anyone would do and read the book.

Holy hell, guys. It’s the first time in the 20+ years I’ve read Tarot that the book has had this strong an influence on my connection with the deck. Everything clicked, all at once, and the most baffling cards were suddenly crystal clear.

This deck is loud, and I’m not even talking about the art! Although really, that should have been a clue. Vintage tattoo art isn’t known for its subtlety, and neither is this deck. There’s no floaty New Agey esoterica going on here. I’ve found this deck almost brutal in its clarity, and it pulls no punches when telling me what’s up. It’s also very energetic, and because of that it simultaneously feels both grounded and transformative.

One aspect of the Bonefire that I need to mention is that there’s an emphasis here on balance in the imagery. There are no “all good” or “all bad” cards – each encompasses both. As someone who doesn’t usually read reversals I’m thrilled to see the light and shadow aspects of a card equally expressed in a deck’s art.

This is the deck I turn to when I’m doing readings for myself. I’m careful when using it with clients, though, and only pull it out when I know they can handle a more rough-and-ready approach. It’s also fantastic for meditation and self-exploration, and while I’ve not yet used it for Tarot spellwork I have no doubt it’ll be awesome for that purpose.

The Bonefire Tarot is amazing for intuitive readers. There’s so much going on in each card that it’s easy for symbols to jump out and grab attention. More logical and analytic readers can use this deck too, of course, but I wouldn’t recommend it for that purpose.

The perspective offered here is different enough from the standard to be illuminating while still retaining the core we’re all used to. Because of that I’d have no qualms about recommending the Bonefire to anyone, regardless of experience level. There’s plenty here to get a beginner started, and the images are so lush that even advanced readers can get a lot out of it.

The trick with this deck, I think, is appreciating the art for what it is. If you can do that the Bonefire might become one of your favorite decks too!

Available for about $30 here.

Head Covering and Mental Health

A bright and happy hijab.

I started covering my hair way back in 2013, and posted about my reasons when I started. Since then I’ve gone from covering full-time to covering sporadically to going right back to covering full-time again.

Through those changes and over that time my initial covering reasons (piety, modesty, and feminism) haven’t substantially changed. Something I didn’t know when I started, though, is how beneficial covering would turn out to be for my mental health*. It’s been quite the experience!

I’ve seen improvement in these three key areas:

  1. Self-Esteem and Self-Care
  2. Emotional Vulnerability and Boundaries
  3. Social Anxiety and Depression Management

So let’s talk about those.

Self-Esteem and Self-Care

Saying that I had low self-esteem in the past would be misleading. I know what I’m good at, where I shine, and playing to my strengths is second nature. I’ve never had a problem accepting that I’m an awesome person with a lot to offer the world.

However, my appearance has never factored into that. Almost all of the attention I’ve ever received for it, positive and negative, in some way circles back to ideas of sexual objectification. I’m either someone bangable or someone not bangable, and being assessed like that before someone even knows my name is profoundly uncomfortable and unsettling. Even worse, those judgments are based on an aspect of self I don’t enjoy, don’t value, and have minimal control over. I’m just not down with that.

Thing is, though, rejecting that whole concept resulted in me rejecting my body. I dealt with it when necessary and categorically ignored it when not. For most of my life I’ve felt more like a brain in an ambulatory jar than anything else, and who devotes a lot of time or attention to caring for a jar? I’ve done the bare minimum required to keep my body mostly functional and never really gone beyond that.

Until I started covering. Covering my head has helped me reconnect to my body.

My head coverings are beautiful. They’re also perhaps the only part of my appearance that has zilch to do with sex. In fact, covering my head often seems to remove me from objectification-based assessments entirely. Every day is a new chance to be artistic with scarves I’ve chosen and techniques I’ve practiced, and when people see me in the streets it’s the results of my creativity that elicit commentary.

A beautiful double braid tichel-style wrap from Wrapunzel.

A beautiful double braid tichel-style wrap from Wrapunzel.

I’m more inclined to properly care for my body when it’s not attracting unwanted attention. Maybe it’s a bit backwards, but covering makes me feel more like my body is mine as opposed to some kind of public commodity I’m obligated to keep in top form for someone else’s enjoyment. Since I started covering I’ve found myself naturally focusing more on what makes my body feel good. As a result I’m drinking more water and eating better. I’ve actually developed a skin care regimen and work on getting enough sleep. I’m even slowly but surely working towards physical fitness goals.

I don’t know that any of that would ever have become a thing for me without covering.

Emotional Vulnerability and Boundaries

Being vulnerable around others is something with which I’ve struggled. All too often in my own head “vulnerability” equated to “weakness”, and being weak led to being hurt. Not exactly encouragement to do it, you know?

Covering seems to provide a psychological layer of protection, a kind of buffering. I think it’s maybe even spiritual, since I focus on my Lady and Her goals for me when I wrap. Regardless of the reason, covering my head helps me open my heart.

It’s easier to talk about my hopes and dreams when I cover. My fears and inadequacies are easier to share too. It’s like I’m wearing a hug, like I’m supported and loved no matter what, and I can be more open because I’m less defensive.

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A bright and happy hijab.

For me, being less defensive also results in my being more assertive. I know it’s not that way for most people, but in my life safety and security have been assured more by meekly going along than by bucking the system. Whatever that system might happen to be.

Covering is like a physical boundary I maintain every day, and it weirdly serves as a reminder for me to maintain my other boundaries too.

Anxiety and Depression Management

I covered full-time from the tail end of 2013 until about mid-2015. By that time my year of covering had ended and I started tapering off a bit. I left the house uncovered more and more often, until eventually I rarely covered at all.

The tapering off of the covering coincided with a deepening depression. I can’t say if the depression contributed to not covering or if not covering contributed to the depression, but they do seem to have been related.

Depression has always been something I’ve had to manage. For the most part I’ve succeeded remarkably well. However, it has always marched hand-in-hand with social anxiety. By mid-2016 my depression was deeper than I can ever recall it being, and my anxiety started spiking so badly that I essentially became agoraphobic. I started having health issues and migraines around this time too, which did not help. I was about as low as I could get.

A white wimple and veil.

A wimple and veil. In many ways they kind of look like flowy hijabs. They’re just made differently. While traditionally they’re white linen, I’ve been experimenting with other colors and fabrics.

I lit a candle and begged my Lady to help me. I didn’t know what else to do. About two weeks later I found myself reaching for my coverings again. I found that when I covered things got… easier. I wasn’t as overwhelmed in social spaces. My migraines became less frequent. I anchored some shields on my volumizer (the poofy thing worn under scarves to give them shape) and that helped too. The more I covered the better I felt, the fewer my symptoms, the higher my energy level. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I’m not going to sit here and say that covering cured my depression. That would be an incredibly simplistic statement for a complicated issue, and it’s not like covering was the only approach I took. Besides, it’s not like I’m cured anyway – I still have good days and bad days, the same as anyone struggling through. But I will say that I personally find covering to be an incredibly useful way to help manage my depression and anxiety symptoms. I checked with other ladies who cover and a few of them reported the same type of thing, so it’s not isolated to just me, either.

Moving Forward

As of now I’m back to covering full-time. I usually find hijab styles more comforting than tichel styles because they cover my neck, and I switch between them depending on exactly how much comforting I need on a given day. I’ve lately started experimenting with wimples and veils, too, and find that those styles make me feel more connected to my ancestors.

I currently live in Ohio, and at least in my area there is a sizable Muslim population. My covers don’t really stand out here, and I don’t feel alone either. That changes when I leave the area, though. Covered women are often targeted these days, and it’s something I have to consider before traveling elsewhere in the US (*cough* Texas *cough*) or interacting with a new group of people.

My covering is still an act of piety, one that brings me joy and reverence. It’s still a symbol of modesty, too, and it’s changed my entire relationship to myself and the world. It’s still very much a feminist statement for me, and since November it’s become a political statement too. Add in the mental health benefits and covering is a part of my life that is here to stay.

Covering is not a very common practice in Pagan and polytheistic circles, although I do think it’s growing. Because of that, it can be baffling for folks encountering it in our communities. I hope that my open sharing can inspire some conversations. Covering has become a fundamental part of my polytheism. Maybe it can help others, too.

 

*Note: This whole post is about MY mental health and how covering affects it. No one else’s. I am in no way saying that covering is the best/final/only method of managing mental health issues. It works for me in the way I’ve stated. If your mental health is a concern, please do whatever works best for you and seek the help of a mental health professional if needed. 

A Diviner’s Code of Ethics

Reading for ourselves, friends, and family is one thing. These people all know us. They know our values, our approaches to consent/confidentiality, etc. We don’t necessarily need to have a set of ethical standards with them because there’s a sense of mutual understanding.

Witch - fortune teller reading fortune close up

That’s the Sharman-Caselli Tarot, for those wondering. 🙂

We don’t have that commonality when we branch out into reading for people beyond that close circle. Adding money to the mix increases the complications, too. Eventually, after we answer the same questions over and over and repeatedly address the same issues, a code of ethics becomes a very useful tool.

How? 

A well-crafted diviner’s code of ethics can set the tone for the entire diviner/client relationship. It also protects both parties as they move forward with a session. The diviner shares their approach, the potential client asks whatever clarifications are needed to feel comfortable with that approach, and they agree to abide by it when they schedule an appointment. Everyone wins.

A code of ethics covers more ground than we might think. Mine covers the kinds of clients I’ll read for, the ones I won’t read for, how honoring consent can manifest in a reading, different ways I respect and empower my clients, etc. It’s incredibly handy to have all of these details in one place.

Writing Our Own

Writing a code of ethics is pretty optional for those just starting out, but once we start reading professionally it’s almost required.

Keep in mind, though, that every reader is an individual. They also read for different clients and encounter different situations. Because of that variation, a personal code of ethics is necessarily individualized.

A good way to approach writing our own is to first find readers we admire and check out what they’ve come up with. What points did they cover that seem essential? What doesn’t seem to fit us or our approach? What did they not cover that feels important to include? Look at as many as possible and commonalities – and deficiencies – will start popping out.

Once we’ve got our ideas in order we can sit down to craft our first draft. Don’t become overwhelmed and think it has to be perfect on the first go-round, either. An effective code of ethics naturally grows and develops as we encounter different situations and account for them. As such it should always be regarded as a living document.

Here’s the one I currently use.

MystikNomad’s Code of Ethics
by Caer

It can be scary to get a reading. It takes a lot of trust – in yourself, in your reader, and in the Powers – to begin embracing all the ways divination can help you navigate your life and reach your highest potential. You deserve to know that your reader will do their very best to support your journey while encouraging constructive growth and empowering you to succeed.

So here are my promises to you, my client:

I always act with integrity.

  • I am clear about what my divination services can (and cannot) do for you. Yes, they can guide you through whatever rough spot you may be experiencing. No, they cannot predict winning Powerball numbers (or I’d be in Tahiti with a mai-tai right now).
  • I respond to all questions to the best of my ability. I do not answer questions that I am not capable of answering, am not qualified to answer, or that I find to be unethical. This includes but is not limited to legal, financial, medical, and mental health questions. Should any of those come up I will refer you to a certified specialist.
  • I do not read for anyone under the age of 18 without a parent or guardian present. I also do not read about an absent third party or for anyone chemically altered.
  • I state my fee up-front and answer any logistics questions prior to beginning a reading.
  • All readings are confidential. I do not share any details of a reading without express permission. The only exceptions are life-threatening situations, which are reported to the applicable authorities as required by law.

I always respect my clients.

  • I celebrate my clients for the unique and diverse people they are. I welcome clients of all spiritual/religious paths, gender identifications, sexual and romantic orientations, relationship dynamics, lifestyle choices, races, ethnic or cultural backgrounds, socio-economic backgrounds, political affiliations, physical or mental health statuses, etc etc etc. I invite my clients to share these details, or not, as suits their personal comfort level.
  • I do not push my faith on another and am happy to refer to spiritual matters using any terminology preferred by the client.
  • My clients have my full attention for the duration of the reading and during any and all communications. I am on time for appointments and provide a safe and welcoming environment, accommodating any special needs to the best of my ability.
  • I work from a basis of Consent Culture. Part of that is recognizing that a client can say “no” at any time during a reading, for any reason, without pressure or kickback. That includes terminating the reading before completion, making certain topics off-limits during a reading, and refusing to elaborate on issues or topics that may come up. I reserve the same rights for myself. If a client terminates a reading their fee is non-refundable. If I terminate a reading a full refund will be immediately made.
  • My goal is the highest good of my clients. I refuse to act in any way that could cause harm or overt distress.

I always honor my client’s personal power.

  • I actively encourage clients to ask questions during the reading and to take notes in whatever way is most convenient for them. This is their reading and they are entitled to every bit of information I can possibly provide.
  • Many people turn to Tarot when emotionally vulnerable. In acknowledgement of that I am careful to encourage responsibility and nurture empowerment in my clients. I tread gently in potentially triggering areas and respect all stated limits.
  • I strive to give my clients practical ways to engage with their lives and fulfill their potential. To that end I often suggest follow-up actions, positive affirmations, images for meditation and contemplation, and topics for further research. Any recommendations involving a purchase (such as stones or candles) have no bearing on the reading, are always at the client’s discretion, and can be acquired from any vendor.
  • A reading is designed to be an enlightening and supportive experience. I share any intuition, insight, experience, etc I may have towards that purpose, but decisions made or actions taken after a reading are solely the responsibility of the client.
  • I do not allow my clients to become overly dependent upon my services. Should that become a concern I will refuse further readings for that client.

    Still have questions? Please ask!

I hope that this inspires you to write your own Code of Ethics! Check out what I provided above and compare it to your ideal Code. Did I cover points you hadn’t considered? Did I miss anything you think is important? Where does/would your Code differ from mine? I’d love to see your answers in the comments!